Forgotten Spirits
by Scorpio1
Summary: Tifa is pregnant but Aeris wants rid of it (CHAPTERS 2 AND 3 NOW IN) please r
1. The Baby

FINAL FANTASY FORGOTTEN SPIRITS   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with squaresoft or Final Fantasy 7  
  
One blissful evening, Tifa became pregnant with Cloud, and so this moment of joy Cloud's son would become leader of AVALANCE  
  
Cloud: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tifa: What?  
  
Cloud: Your....yo....your....preg....pr....pre...  
  
Tifa: Pregnant?  
  
Cloud: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tifa: Sigh  
  
Vincent: Hey dudes, what's happenin?  
  
Tifa: I'm pregnant  
  
Vincent: Your what?  
  
Tifa: Pregnant!  
  
Vincent: Wispers to Tifa Is the time when we got really drunk at Junon when Cloud saved that girl and...you..know...we.....  
  
Tifa: Whispers back Oh no no no no, this is with Cloud!  
  
Vincent: That's O.K!  
  
Tifa: I'm away for a drink!  
  
Cloud: But you own a bar right here!  
  
Tifa: I said I'M AWAY FOR A DRINK!!!!  
  
Cloud: I didn't know they mood swings happen so quickly!  
  
Tifa: Walks out and closes door Ahhhhhh....  
  
Wind picks up quickly and keeps near Tifa  
  
Tifa: What on earth?  
  
???: I am the forgotten spirit that you well...um....have forgotten about!  
  
Tifa: Well DUH!  
  
???: What do you mean "DUH"?  
  
Tifa: We all know it's you Aeris!  
  
Aeris: Oh well then! Listen I have to tell you that you must get rid of that baby as soon as it is born and leave it at the forgotten city!  
  
Tifa: So you and sephy can have it?  
  
Aeris: Yes so that me and .......HEY, I would never do that and how did you know that me and sephy I mean Sephiroth are going out?  
  
Tifa: Cause you have always been alive but just always appeared in spiritual form for some unknown reason!  
  
Aeris: Well yes, but how did you know about Sephiroth?  
  
Tifa: No reason! Hides porno tapes labelled "Sephy Dreams"  
  
Aeris: Well anyway, you must leave the baby or Shinra will take it and corrupt it into a evil person!  
  
Tifa: Yeah! Sure! RUFUS IS DEAD!!!!  
  
Some where in a pile of ruble  
  
Rufus: I LIVE!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! I wonder if they still make that shampoo I like?  
  
Back to Tifa and Aeris  
  
Tifa: Look it's my baby and I'll do what I want with it!  
  
Aeris: Eeeewww, Tifa, I never knew you were that type of person!  
  
Tifa: I'm not going to do that, just keep it with me!  
  
Aeris : Ohhhhh!  
  
Tifa: Well bye!  
  
Tifa walks into the bar  
  
Nine months later  
  
Doctor: Push Tifa, Push, Push, Push....  
  
Tifa: I AM PUSHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Doctor: Yikes!  
  
Cloud: Don't worry Doc I'll take over!  
  
Cloud: C'mon Tif, your going to get through this c'mon that's it!  
  
Cid: I can see it's finger!  
  
Yuffie: That's no finger that's a....  
  
Somewhere in a park  
  
Man: Wiener, get your wieners right here!  
  
Back in the hospital  
  
Cloud: Look it's head!  
  
Vincent: It's hands!  
  
Yuffie: It's feet!  
  
Cid: It's a baby!  
  
Cait Sith: A baby with LOTS OF SPIKEY HAIR? WHA???  
  
Cloud: A cutey wutey wittle baby, cuchi cuchi co!  
  
Everyone stares at Cloud  
  
Cloud: What?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well that's the end of the first chapter if I get more than 10 reviews I'll write more I know it's a bit crud but the rest will be better so hurry up and review I'll direct you  
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	2. The Baddie

FORGOTTEN SPIRITS  
  
Few months after Tifa had her baby  
  
Tifa: Oh ello Sephy Wephy!  
  
Cloud: Why'd we call her baby Seph?  
  
Tifa: Cause I like Sephiroth's name and besides isn't he one of your best friends?  
  
Cloud: Well I suppose!  
  
Tifa: See!  
  
Red XIII walks in  
  
Red: The hypotenuse of a right angled triangle is equal to square root of the other two sides!  
  
Cloud/Tifa: Wha??????  
  
Red: Nothing!  
  
Cloud: More catnip?  
  
Red: No thanks, every piece of catnip you take takes 5 secs off your life or is that cigerattes?  
  
Cid: IT'S DAMN WELL CATNIP!!!  
  
Red: In a high pitched voice O.K  
  
Meanwhile outside  
  
Rufus: Now that I live I'll take control of that house over there, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
  
Cloud: There's a knock on the door I'll get it!  
  
DUNN DUNN DUNNNN  
  
Tifa: Weird!  
  
Cid: What is?  
  
Tifa: Where does that music come from?  
  
Cid: Beats me! drops cig what lights one of his dynamite's whoops throws it outside   
  
Man beside stereo: AAAAHHHHHH!!!! BOOM All I wanted to do was put in music I get here at 7:00am and I'll be lucky if I get out of here at 6:00pm!WWAAAHHH! dies  
  
Tifa: What the hell was that!  
  
Cid: Stupid author just addin stuff to make it longer!  
  
Cid suddenly appears in bra and panties  
  
Cid: AARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!  
  
Warrior (me): What was that Cid?  
  
Cid: Nothin!  
  
Warrior: Anyone else want to mess?  
  
All: No!  
  
Warrior: That's better, now on with the fic!  
  
Cloud opens door  
  
Cloud: It's YOU!  
  
??: Yes it's me!  
  
Cloud: YES YES YES! The pizza man is here!  
  
pizza man gives Cloud pizzas and Cloud gives him money  
  
Cloud: FOOD EVERYONE!!  
  
Another knock on door  
  
Cloud: Hang on  
  
Cloud: Oh it's you Rufus!  
  
Rufus: Didn't you know I have come back from the dead?  
  
Cloud: So?  
  
Rufus: I laughed in the face of fear, I tickled the armpits of terror!  
  
Cloud: Your point?  
  
Rufus: My point is that I'm back and badder than ever!  
  
Cloud: Good point! Draws Sword AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
Rufus: Draws Shotgun AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Tifa: STOP! Not in front of the baby!  
  
Cloud: O.K!  
  
Rufus: Baby?  
  
Tifa: Yes, me and Cloud had a baby and called it Seph! Holds up baby that looks like a really young cute Cloud  
  
Rufus: Ohhhh To himself YES YES YES! I'll kidnap the baby and use it for my own needs!  
  
Reader: Eeeeewwww!  
  
Rufus: NOT THOSE KIND OF NEEDS!!!!!  
  
Cloud: Who you talkin to?  
  
Rufus: No one!  
  
Cloud: Oh well, do you want to stay for pizza?  
  
Rufus: Yes, O.K MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Tifa: Why you laughing?  
  
Rufus: No reason!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Has what Aeris said coming true? Just wait for the next chapters and you'll find out! But for now review this story!  



	3. The Body

FORGOTTEN SPIRITS  
  
At dinner  
  
Rufus: Munching You munch know munch that I nearly had a baby myself once! munch  
  
Everyone starts laughing   
  
Cloud: That's a good one!  
  
Rufus: What?  
  
Barret: That's one o' the best damn jokes I've heard in ma life?  
  
Rufus: Shrugging I'll get the drinks!  
  
Rufus walks to the kitchen  
  
Rufus: Heh heh heh, Once I'll slip this in the drinks they'll be sleeping like babies!  
  
Reader: Why not poison them?  
  
Rufus: Cause, this, this is the way bad guys think, now just SHUT UP!!!  
  
Cloud: from the dining room Sometin up?  
  
Rufus: Oh nothing. Here's your drinks!  
  
Cloud: Bottoms up!  
  
Yuffie: Why are you not drinking your juice and why are you laugh…laugh…..ing .. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz  
  
Rufus: Heh heh now for the baby!  
  
Sephiroth: I'm away to Cloud's for dinner!  
  
Aeris: O.k!  
  
Sephiroth: I might be stayin over!  
  
Aeris: Got your clean under wear?  
  
Sephiroth: Yes!  
  
Aeris: Tooth brush?  
  
Sephiroth: Yes!  
  
Aeris: Remember kids dental hygiene is VERY IMPORTANT! Want to see little billy grow up not believing this?  
  
Sephiroth: Oh no, God no, Please anything but that! NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Aeris shows a very gruesome video about a kid growing with half his teeth missing and the other half looking very dirty and poisonous  
  
Aeris: Bye Sephy! Sephy?  
  
Sephiroth is hiding behind a couch wimpering  
  
Aeris: Oh there there!  
  
Meanwhile in Cloud's house  
  
Rufus: Hello Seph!  
  
Seph: Mmmmm..Waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!  
  
Rufus: Shut up you little brat and go back to sleep!  
  
Seph looks at Rufus and pulls out a mini-Ultima Sword  
  
Rufus: Oh what a nice toy!  
  
Seph smiles evilly and performs a mini-omnislash  
  
Rufus: In very torn clothes Well that went well Falls and faints  
  
Sephiroth walks in  
  
Sephiroth: What's Rufus doin here? Oh well Picks Rufus up and tosses him out the window Why's everyone sleeping?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Well that sure gave Rufus a shock he'll never forget! Wait for the next chapter to find out what happens!  
  
P.S  
  
And review 


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